Sunday, May 1, 2022

The Meaningless and the Meaningful

 

The Meaningless and the Meaningful

[May 12, 2022]

 

When I grow older and especially after my retirement, there have been too much free time to kill.  All the hobbies I love are definitely enough to fill in the gap.  However, there are always chances that I do not feel like doing the same things over and over again no matter how much I enjoy doing it.

So from time to time, I have dreamed up something new as a refresher.  Some are credible and others are ridiculous.  Whatever they are, even though other think they are meaningless, quite frequently they are meaningful in my standard.

This one belongs to one of those, no doubt. 

I have a file of school documents I have been carrying to Hong Kong numerous times for whatever reasons.  They are my high school diploma, letter of resignation from my last employment in Hong Kong, my grade points during my last semester, the entrance examination results to the University of Hong Kong and the University of London and the award certificates, etc.  They were needed when I applied for my Chinese passport, the Hong Kong identification card, visa to go to China, etc.  The documents not only showed my identity, also the time durations when I was in Hong Kong or U.S. or other countries. 

This time, when I decided to move from Maryland to Seattle to be closer to my children, I did a rather thorough cleaning of all my belonging.  Not only getting rid the useless paper, also made room for my new nest as I was going to move to a smaller apartment.  When I went through these files, suddenly I realized that the file only contained my high school documents, but not my college diploma.

What had happened to my college diploma?  Had I ever seen my diploma?  I was not sure.  The question kept flopping in my mind.  The more I tried to think about it, the more I was uncertain.  I could not even picture how the diploma looked like.  Suddenly an idea appeared in my mind - “my daughter was also a Berkeley graduate!”  The might be one way to settle my mind by checking her diploma if it might bring back my memory.

“I had never seen a copy like it.  It looked so strange to me.”  I convinced myself.  Now I was 99.44% sure that during the years I had been carrying my document file, there was not a document looked as her graduation diploma.

I am 86 (or 89 depending on which stories I believe) years old now.  I had retired 22 years ago after employed 38 years to three employers.  For sure I had fill out in the job applications that I was a 1964 Berkeley graduate.  They never asked me to show them the diploma as the proof.  As normal they would called up UC Berkeley to validate my claim.  If they never called me to say I was a liar, the fact had been validated.  If I do not have it now, I must have lost it or never have possession of it for whatever reasons.  The most logical answer is that, after I finished the graduate celebration ceremony and after I threw my cap into the air, I had never thought that I was supposed to go to the office to pick up the diploma.

Now I gave myself the answer, then what?  I will never need it for my career since my career has ended.  That piece of paper is useless other than framing and hanging onto the wall.  But I have over half a dozen Professional Engineering Licenses issued by different States which are more important for my Engineering career than the diploma.  I only hanged them in my office to impress my clients and vendors.  After retirement, I have no reasons to hang them in my office at home.  Then why do I care if I have the possession of my college diploma?

On the other hand, that is the piece of paper I fought so hard for.  Not only struggling so hard while having the tiny amount of money to start the journey, also struggled so hard to survive.  Not only to pay for the room and board also facing the Immigration Department, the Foreign Student Office, the job hunting while I was not allowed to work, the ways to maintain the spirit to live and study, the juggling of work and study schedules, the language handicap and so many other factors to pull it off until I graduated.  Even it is just a piece of paper, it is the paper I fought hard for; it is a piece of paper to prove that I can achieve what I want; It is the proof of success or failure.

Suddenly the piece of paper increases the value in my mind and it becomes the piece of paper I will find way to obtain.  But how?  It has been 58 years since I graduated.  Can they still be able to find a piece of document 58 years old?  Even the document still exists; will they be willing to spend time to satisfy an old man just because he is so sentimental?  Will they bother?

Like what they say, you don’t know until you try.  Never say never until you exhaust all the possibilities and opportunities.  With the research, I found the possible right person (Vice Chancellor Katherine Yelick) to contact and my letter was written and sent.

Will others laugh at me to do something so meaningless?  Do I care if I feel it may be so meaningful?

Here is the letter.  Hopefully it will open a new project to keep me busier.

 

May 8, 2022

Office of Vice Chancellor Katherine Yelick,

119 California Hall,

Berkeley, CA 94720-1500

 

Dear Vice Chancellor Yelick,

This may sound like a fairy tale.  Please bear with me.  You will do me a great favor by finishing reading this letter.

I am a Year 1964 graduate in Cal, Berkeley, B.Sc. with major in Civil Engineering.  It had been a dream came true that I had reached my goal through an almost impossible journey.

This is to briefly recap my situations from the beginning.  After my high school graduation following by a clerk-typist job working in the Labor Department in Hong Kong, I had decided that in order to have a better future, I had to be further educated.  Because of my family financial situation, my parents had negated my request to go to college outside of Hong Kong.  But that did not make me change my mind.  I had decided that I would proceed going to a college without burdening their financial situation.

Since I had done well in Chinese high school, I was accepted by San Francisco State College, the University of San Francisco, and the University of California, Berkeley.  After selected Cal. Berkeley as my preference, I had begun my detailed plan to fulfill my wish.

After working two and half jobs to save $1,000 U.S. dollars, I said goodbye to my parents and began my adventurous journey.  With $330 to purchase the cheapest ticket from President Cleveland Lines, $70 to buy the absolute necessities, I had the remaining $600 in my pocket when I left Hong Kong.

Even though I did not speak the English language well, did not know a single person in the U.S., I sailed and landed in the place I was not familiar with, San Francisco.  With knowing that as soon as the school would start, I would have to pay $400 for the tuition.  The remaining $200 would be my started fortune to pay for room and board, books and stationary, transportation, clothing, entertainment and even dating girls.  Difficult, yes, impossible, no!

That was how I started.  After four years of struggle, I managed to get what I came for, my college degree.  At the day of graduation, I was so excited.  Even I had confidence when I started I still could not believe that I managed to pull it through.  After the graduation ceremony, and after I threw my graduation cap to the air, I was so thrilled yet exhausted.  My mind was happy but blank with the great satisfaction that I had reached my impossible goal.  I WAS SO EXCITED THAT I DID NOT EVEN REMEMBER THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE OFFICE TO PICK UP MY DIPLOMA.

I am 89 years old now and live in a retirement community. I had retired over twenty years ago.   I had gone through my life with a successful career in Civil Engineering and Computer Science, but I had never thought of that I did not ever have the possession of my own diploma, the paper I had fought so hard for.  While cleaning up my documents during the latest move recently to be closer to my children, I suddenly realized that I had never seen my own diploma.  Since my daughter was also a Cal, Berkeley graduate, I asked her to show me her diploma.  After checking it as it looked so strange to me, I was so sure and concluded that I had never seen my Berkeley graduation document.

Why I am doing this?  Is it so important to me now?  Is it so important for an 89 years person, an over twenty year retiree to have the diploma that it will be useless for the remaining of my career?  I don’t know.  Maybe I am too sentimental.  Maybe I am still looking for the satisfaction of the several years of struggling doing my impossible task.

On the other hand, is it possible for you to find my diploma after 58 years since I graduated?  Still, this is my wish.  I will accept that it is an impossible task.  Would that be a miracle that my senseless wish comes true?  I will be more than just satisfied to have the diploma or even a Xerox copy only to fulfill my mind.

First I would give my sincere thanks that you have read the entire letter.  I will be delighted for any answer you may give me.

Happy Mother’s Day and God bless all of us.

 

Andrew Yeesing Fok

afok@msn.com

22975 SE Black Nugget Road, Apt 313,

Issaquah, WA 98029

Cell phone: (206)-992-3838

 

End of first enquiry.

Less than a week later, I received the reply from the Executive Assistant on behalf of the Vice Chancellor. 

 

diploma from UC BerkeleyJM

Joel Moldenhauer joelmold@berke

To Fok@msn.com

Fri 5/13/2022 12:48 PM

 

Dr. Mr. Fok,

Vice Chancellor Kathy Yelick received your letter dated May 8 and asked me to respond on her behalf. I hope this email finds you well. I was fascinated with your story, and I hope we're able to help you obtain a copy of your diploma. 

I contacted our University Registrar office, which is ultimately responsible for this, and the next step is for you to complete the form linked here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfXoxh3eTzRX6XblJuBfhouCG3Iw_lp8DRvjwVu_WATGXEKrg/viewform

They will use the information you provide to verify records. Once that is done it sounds like you will be asked to pay a fee of $60, then you will be sent a copy. 

From what I understand this process can take up to two months. If this is too long, or if you have any questions, please contact diplomas@berkeley.edu.

If you have any other questions or if there is anything else I can help with please don't hesitate to contact me.

Best wishes,

Joel

Joel Moldenhauer

Senior Executive Assistant

Vice Chancellor for Research Office

University of California, Berkeley

Cell: 510-295-5562

 

What they requested from the reply was expected but not what I hoped for.  When I requested the diploma, it was not really that I was so anxious about having the document.  Why do I ask for it?  What am I using that for?  For sure even if I have the original, will I frame it and hang it on the wall?  No!  I do not even hang the Professional Engineering Licenses which are even more valuable for my job than the college diploma.  Then why would I hang the Berkeley diploma even if I have it?

Believe or not, I ran through this exercise just to satisfy my own mind for something I believe I am entitled to and nothing else.  It impressed me that they did not do that just for formality; they guided me how to obtain my copy, except they charged a fee for it.  I thought that too before I sent out the letter, but I was hoping that I might get a pleasant surprise.  In a way, it is logical that all services are expected to be compensated.  Still, in a way, I am entitled to have my document free of charge except I am 58 years too late.  For sure that I don’t plan to spend money just for a moment of satisfaction.

Now since I opened the can of worms, I had to find some ways to withdraw gracefully.  I cannot drop it just like dropping a hot potato; I do owe him/her a logical reason before I can call it quits.

So that is my reply.

 

May 14, 2022

Dear Joel,

Thanks for your speedy reply of my letter to Vice Chancellor Kathy Yelick, even though the answer is not what I hoped for.  It is really a little silly on my part that I would pursue a long lost diploma after 58 years.  At my twilight age, why would/should I ask for a piece of paper which is useless to my career?  I guess for sentimental reasons I just want to have the satisfaction to touch what I had fought for so long ago.

I was hoping that I might have a FREE copy of the diploma, even though it might be just a Xerox copy to fulfill my dream.  Since I am living on social security, it would be unwise to spend $60 for just a moment of satisfaction.  Come to think of it, even if I have the diploma, I doubt that I might frame it and hang up on the wall.  I might just file it with the rest of the education documents such as my high school diploma and other award documents.

I guess I should have thought of it.  I should not expect others to spend time to find a 58-years old paper without paying for their services.  Accepting this, I believe that I would drop the whole idea and just hold on to my dream that I did graduate in Berkeley 58 years ago.  I will almost be as content as holding the original diploma in my hand.  Please accept my apology for the oversight.

Thanks for you spending time to take care my silly letter, and please thank Vice Chancellor Yelick for her time to read my letter. 

Please consider this subject closed and give my regards to all of you.

Yours truly,

Andrew Yeesing Fok

afok@msn.com

 

How embarrassing!  A day after I sent the eMail to Joel and asked him to close the subject since I had no plan to spend any amount of money to buy a brief moment of satisfaction, I, like what I said “how embarrassing”, I found the original of the diploma in my possession all the time!

Not trying to look for excuses, in my mind, I have never ever remembered I have seen my diploma.  Especially I have been carrying the high school documents to Hong Kong to apply the Hong Kong and China documents there was no reason not to include the college diploma.  Not only that it might be useful, also I had chances to show off my college document especially it was from one of the top 10 Universities in the United States.

This time because I was looking for other paper, I happened to run into the file containing my Professional Engineering licenses.  Again in my memory [it must be not as good as I think], I don’t believe I hanged my college diploma in my office at work, I only hanged all the P.E. licenses as a way to show I was valuable and experienced for my job.  Since I found the diploma in the same file containing the P.E. licenses I must have hung the diploma as well.  Even I still refuse to admit my memory is failing it must be not as well as what I would admit.  How depressing!  How sad!

As soon as I saw the diploma, I was shocked and immediately put it back to the file.  I could have ignored the whole thing without telling anyone one, including Joel and the Vice Chancellor and others since I have told them to close the whole issue.  So I could bury the whole event without admitting that I screwed up.  But it takes a great man to admit his error, as what they all say, I cannot push myself to bury my mistake.  I had to tell them the whole story even though it was embarrassing.

So I wrote the eMail almost immediately.

 

On Tue, May 17, 2022 at 6:19 PM Andrew Fok <AFOK@msn.com> wrote:

Dear Joel,

This is the most embarrassing eMail I have written for as long as I remember.  I wrote you the reply yesterday to ask you to drop the subject of pursuing my diploma.  Surprisingly, it showed up when I least expected. 

I just currently moved into a retirement community.  Last week, I finally managed to unpack all the boxes.  I have over half a dozen of the Professional Engineering licenses from different States.  When I unpack the P.E. licenses, I found my Berkeley diploma mixed with them.  

Please accept my sincere apology for my oversight and have wasted yours and Vice Chancellor Yelick’s time on my behalf.  I really thank you two that you cared for helping me to locate the document. 

It is a happy ending for me.  Thanks again and hope you two have a nice summer. 

 

Andrew 

afok@msn.com

 

Within hours, I received the reply from Joel.  I was delighted to find out that they were friendly and cared.


Re: diploma from UC Berkeley

<joelmold@berkeley.edu>

To:

·        You

Tue 5/17/2022 9:41 PM

Dear Mr. Fok,

This is the most wonderful outcome! It makes me extremely happy that you found your original diploma. When I checked, the Registrar’s office did not have your original any longer (I don’t know how long they keep them), so they would have been producing a copy which was the reason for the fee. I was checking if they could produce one without the fee. Happily, that is no longer necessary. If you ever need anything else from Berkeley please don’t hesitate to contact me. 

Best wishes for your retirement!

Joel

            End of the entire drama, from a convincing letter to nothing but a happy ending.  I was very pleased how cooperating and friendly they were.  It made me proud to be one of them.

[May 18, 2022]

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